Everyone, in some small sanctuary of the self, is nuts.
I have come to realize —
Watching, admiring, or questioning people highlights my fears about them. It feels safer to observe the ones who wear their crazy on the outside, because I so despise deception. The walls people have built to protect themselves elaborate as SCUBA equipment fascinate me and I enjoy discovering in others slivers of myself that i have never fully accepted.
I have put myself—through a deep religious conversion—in order to learn to change my beliefs——-
Every time the shadow sneaks up on me I am surprised that it cannot die. What size blind spot have I built for it to bask in such darkness? For this I find it necessary to keep writing. And I began talking to video cameras in private so that I grow quicker and make It die faster—or rather use It to my advantage—-
There are spaces. Spaces that are structures, to keep me strong and grounded; there are spaces between those that allow me moments of bliss and living, windows to fly in and out of; the decapitated rose swears on a stack of bricks and construction zones around it develop into its templed reality.